S t a n d a r d S i x – B o o k D i a r y : http://www.blondiespalace.info/CreativeWriting/BlondiesBlogStd6.html (original posts site)
This is the book diary of Standard Six - written as part of the process documenting the creation a book/novel.
Wednesday 11th September 2007
Southern Cross University Posts and feedback from fellow classmates....
lol! you guys make me laaaugh!!! Gosh I really wish you were going to the workshop.. i would so love to meet you ... :)
Yes, the donkey cantering.. I realised i forgot to say that (for those senstive about animal cruelty - close your eyes) they would whip the donkeys until they cantered so sadly yeah, a donkey can canter..
I am just sooo enjoying writing this book. For the first time in 35 years, this stuff that is inside is coming out.. and it feels like a 'letting' a purging and it feels great.. I think that when you take a human being at face value, it is easy to discount the combination of their experiences and where they come from placing them into the stereotype of Australian but i have this whole background of South Africa where i grew up.. i can still smell the mud of Andries' hut. I remember the TB epidemic and how it spread like wildfire, uncontained and tragic..
I am showing my age here.. i look a young 40 so i am not ready for the shelf.. i sound like an old codger recounting memories of the past.. which is why old people fascinate me with their stories.. i can just listen for hours upon hours.. it really fascinates me because it comes from the heart, even if it is in part fabricated.. you still get the 'feeling' for what that person's perception of those times are...
=) Your comments make me very happy. it means i am achieving what i set out to do..
Some reviews from my classmates at Southern Cross...
Thread:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Post:RE:RE:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Author:Fiona Madssen
Date:Sunday, 9 September 2007
Status:Published
Hi Nicolette
I can picture the environment vividly. I can sense the poverty. I can also see that Andries is a child who thinks like a child (with all the selfish dreams, curiosity and innocence that a child has) but also has adult concerns.
I can assume there is some serious drama ahead? Does the drama centre around wealth verses poverty? Black and white?
I think its a great introduction. It paints a scene, creates a mood but doesn't give too much away. It wets the readers appetite (like a perfect sized entree before a main course). He he I think I'm hungry.
Oh, I was aware of quite a few spelling and grammatical errors; did you want us to worry about that or were you mainly concerned with the story? There was an unfinished sentence where Andries wakes his sister up with a. . .?
But I want to read more. .
All the best
Fiona
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Thread:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Post:RE:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Author:Elizabeth Van Maarion
Date:Saturday, 8 September 2007
Hey Nicolette, your descriptions of the poor family's life in that moment in time is great, I really felt sorry for the little boy, trying to solve the every day problems that life throws at you.
It might be a good idea to explain what the mother is ill from and some character description would be good.
Cheers Libby
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Thread:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Post:RE:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Author:Elizabeth Preston
Date:Saturday, 8 September 2007
Status:Published
Hi Nicolette,
This seems like a great place to start. You have created a vivid sense of place; the love and poverty is clear. The characters are also strong. There is an ominous tone of trouble ahead.
You could even stretch this opening bit out further if you wanted to slow down the pace (because it is a novel) e.g. he could pick out a school shirt but the mother can't afford it so they have to go into the back of the shop and buy a second hand shirt. Only a suggestion.
Great beginning.
Beth
Thread:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Post:First 747 Words... STANDARD SIX...
Author:Nicolette Ward
Date:Saturday, 8 September 2007
Status:Published
Hi guys,..
I have just written the opening to CH 1..
I wonder if I can get some quick Feedback on this as I feel that a good powerful start is essential to a book. but I am a little dubious about starting it here..
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A cock crowed outside as the light seeped in through the door of the hut. Andries opened his eyes only just a little bit to see his mother cough a big glob of red sputum into the phlegm-soaked white toilet paper. She wheezed and coughed again, and again, and again. In the back of his mind, he quietly hoped that she would be well enough to take Lindiwe and himself to buy their school clothes today. Things weren’t looking too good though. Mtembe, his mother had been coughing all night and now the blood. It always came at the end of a bad night, like the Tokolosh, and steal away her energy.
‘Boetie! a lappie! quickly!’ Mtembe coughed.
Andries scrambled from his mat and grabbed the cloth hanging from the hook in the mud wall of the hut. He knelt down on the mat beside her and handed it to the hunched over figure racked in spasm. Her body shook one violently one more time and the blood spilled from her mouth. The cloth soaked in red. She wiped her mouth with the cloth and dropped it to the floor.
‘Mama, what I can do for you?’ Andries asked, rubbing his hand up and down his mother’s back in a circular motion, concerned because his father had already left for work an hour ago to catch a bus to work.
‘Boetie, don’t worry, the doctor said the medicine will work soon. Bring some water and the medicine’.
Andries poured some water into an enamel cup from the calabash sitting in the corner and handed it to her with a little bottle of pills. She steadied her self on the mat and emptied two pills out into her hand and took a swig of water. The coolness of the water soothed her burning chest and she leaned against the mud wall.
‘We go to Pep Stores today. Wake Lindiwe, we have to get ready,’ she said.
Andries’ white smile beamed in the darkened room. Mtembe knew she couldn’t let her son down, he had been so excited at the prospect of a trip into town, and going to school was a big thing for him.
‘eh! Lindiwe!’ Andries shook the blanketed body next to him.
Lindiwe groaned and curled up in a ball under her blanket.
‘eh! Lindiwe! Shopping!’ Andries spang on top of her and started to tickle her.
‘Maaaaa!’ Lindiwe protested.
Mtembe rubbed her face with a
‘Come Lindiwe’ Mtembe responded.
The blue Putco bus roared to a halt at the dusty bus stop. The bus doors slammed open and Andries helped his mother up the bus stairs into the crowded bus with Lindiwe close behind, clutching tightly onto her mother’s bag. Of the sixty or so people already on the bus, there was little space to sit down. Mtembe steadied herself on seat rail while Andries and Lindiwe hung onto her for the bumpy forty-five minute ride.
The bus emptied out in the main street. Heavy with cars, trucks, people and donkey carts, Andries couldn’t help but stare at the white people. He was always fascinated by these strange white beings. Their skin, so pale, always made them look sickly and almost transparent. Mtembe’s brown hand gently pushed his face toward her.
‘Boetie! Don’t stare!’ Mtembe cautioned.
They walked into Pep Stores. The shop was lined with shelves like a supermarket. Clothes hung from racks along the walls, and suitcases of every description on the shelves above were stacked to the ceiling. Andries rubbed his eyes. The smell of starched new clothes and brightness of the fluorescent lights made him feel quite lightheaded.
Mtembe selected the clothes from the shelves and took them to the check-out to pay. She pushed a the dirty folded five rand across the counter. The Indian lady picked it up with disgust and unfolded it, putting it in the till and dropped the fifty cents change back on the counter.
Mtembe coughed and picked up the change. Andries took the bags and they stepped back out into the sunshine.
A cart made from the back half a Volkswagen beetle attached to a donkey cantered past. Andries smiled and wished he had a donkey. They walked back to the bus stop and caught the bus home.
That night, as the whole family lay down on their mats, Andries lay wondering in the dark. What would high school be like? What would the future bring? How could he make his mother better?
747 Words
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Thread:STANDARD SIX>> Opening...
Post:RE:STANDARD SIX>> Opening...
Author:Cindy Nielsen
Date:Sunday, 9 September 2007
Status:Published
Nikki, the language is so clear,I also felt I had an accent while reading the chapter.
Richelle picked up a few things I was going to mention, but there are a few very small typos, for instance
'...made from the back half a Volkswagen' should read '...of a Volkswagen...' I've never seen a donkey do more than walk, so I was surprised by it cantering past. There you go, I've learned something new!
As I said, just little things. We can see where Andries is coming from - his background, and later his behaviour, which will be determined by this poverty and anxiety about his mother.
Keep writing so we can read more. I'm anxious to see how his first day of school turns out.
Cheers,
Cindy
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Thread:STANDARD SIX>> Opening...
Post:RE:STANDARD SIX>> Opening...
Author:Richelle Buckingham
Date:Saturday, 8 September 2007
Status:Published
Hi, just picked out a couple of oddities here - just to show I am paying attention.
- one violently one more time - two many ones' perhaps?
- Mtembe rubbed her face with a... what?
Anyway, nitpicking aside, it's clear you have South African connections, it comes across with authority in this chapter. I love stories that make me take on the accent of the characters - so yes, I was South African for a couple of minutes there!
I felt an empathy and interest for the characters and would love to read more.
Richelle :)
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Friday 7th September 2007
Tokoloshe Research:
Tokoloshe Myth
Email these people to find out more about TB
Tubercolosis Research Contacts
Questions to Ask:
How do people cope with it..
What was the traditional approach…
Traditional magic and superstition have always formed an integral part of South Africa's indigenous folktales, in which the tokoloshe is a significant manifestation. Even today many rural and urban Nguni peoples, particularly the Zulu and Xhosa, still believe in the power of these mischievous and sometimes evil, hairy spirits. Interestingly though, the belief in these water sprites has spread to all cultures in South Africa.
Usually invisible to adults, tokoloshes are believed to be fond of children and treat them as friends.
I have developed the full outline and then detailed outline. I received the feedback from my uni lecturer - all very positive.. blah blah .. eventually a "fine novel"
I feel a little nervous about starting. Is this going to live up to my expectations of what i want from my writing?
Am i going to be able to write well enough to be a good writer or produce a good book that someone won't laugh at or will this book be the very thing that undoes me and if i lose my passion for writing what will become of me and oh dear, god listen to me.. i feel a little nervous as i am now testing the water...
oi!
I use this blog as a bit of a warm up to get my brain into the zone and my writing hat on.. it allows my brain to change gear.. free writing for 5 minutes before starting is always recommended. I have my outline next to me. I have summoned Virginia Woolf, Mary Shelley and Jack Kerouac and Bryce Courtney into the divine
inspiration i will receive from God to flow through me and allow me to write a book that will stand the test of time that people will
read and go, FAR OUT! that was awesome..
Saturday, 25th August 2007
I have realised that not only an outline of a story is necessary but an outline of the chapters is necessary. That keeps me on track, grounds me in the roots of the story and not allowing any flowery nonsense unrelated to the story to creep in. I far prefer writing in this manner otherwise i tend to drift and meander in my story..
This gives you a good way to stay on track and not veer off during the writing process. The reader forms a tree along which the story threads itself only if the writer has done the same in the preparation of the text. Some authors can do this mentally, i have to do it on paper.
Sunday 19th August 2007
The other thing i realised that is that my gut feeling just says this is all RIGHT .. this is meant to happen, it is the first time in a long time that i feel so right about things and it is amazing how things just fall into place as you go, but things have to feel right to begin with and then it is a simple matter when it comes to working out what is right in terms of story line and what isn't.
In doing this story, as a i move through the artifacts of my culture once left behind - in some ways there is such comfort moving among these artifacts again.. i feel like i have come home. This is what i know, that this feels like a comfortable slipper. not like living in Australian culture where i am still navigating the cultural framework and asking questions about how it operates.
I was unaware that this process was going on in the background for me over the last 10 years of living here in Oz.. and now that I mirror my own culture against it i feel like a stranger to Oz all over again. Oz has defined me to know what the difference is between Africa and Oz.. when i was younger i did not value the South African culture, now I realise how rich, and varied and beautiful it is .. i used think of South Africa (the first world side as 'concept recylcers' - i still believe this is true however, the unique african feel is added to it which makes it something special.)
Saturday, 4th August 2007
i worked out the lowest on the social scale would be a disabled black lesbian female (wot a life!)...then it got me to thinking if i should include a character of that nature in the book but it would be 1) overdone and 2) the truth is I don't know how African culture deals with lesbians... with disabled people, quite often the mother kills the disabled child at birth as a sort of mercy killing.. in the veld (bush/field) when they were living in times that just did not accommodate people who were disabled. It is much different today however...
The story is true in parts.. i really lived there, went to boarding school, and the school photographer really did what he did.. he is still alive today but should have been jailed for paedophilia is my thoughts.. nonetheless, I am still in contact with Stephen today..whom i met again 3 years ago - he told me his story and well, you just have to wait till you hear his story in the book... he went through some tough times.. and was married with 2 daughters and is now divorced and gay... imagine the journey he has been through.. he is a dear dear friend of mine... and we conspired to write the book together.. but i will write my version for uni and then we conceded that we would bring his stuff in after when we are ready to go down the publication track..
i have further embroidered the story.. i have used PowerPoint to plot the story and identify the themes, theory and other stuff in the 'notes' of the PowerPoint.. it still hasn't stabilised yet so i will keep you posted..
Wednesday 8th August 2007
Hi C, B, J... thanks so much for your questions..they do help me think more intimately about my story..
First, C, the murder didn't happen but the photographer really did screw up Stephen's life. To this day, S and I are still dealing with the fallout that that caused as it seems to have triggered Stockholm's syndrome at the time (where the captivee falls in love or thinks they are in love with their captor)... the story is way more complicated when you get into the pages than what u see in the 500 word draft proposal..
Standard Six is called that because if this becomes a 2-3-4-5 book deal, then we have Standard 7, 8, 9 and 10! how's that for extensibility?
Standard Six is also loosely rooted in an event called 'District Six - Sharpeville Massacre' - Wikipedia - District Six(check it out - it is fascinating..and eye opening..
Many people died that day and when i started high school in 1981, District Six was very much still on our minds.. it was also the first event i can remember where i felt that something was wrong with the whole setup.
Standard Six is also about the fallout - it wasn't a massacre but the kids were mentally massacred... we were broken down and reconstructed into wht was perceived the 'new elite' to take over and lead the country. This didn't happen overtly, this was subtly and gently instilled through ritual and rite of passage.. through indoctrination and presentation of dogma in our assemblies, in the classroom and on the sports field.. and through our history books.. this was the 'ideology' of the institution.. school was an extension of government.. it was a creeping, whispering thing that was imperceptibly there but not there.. i lived this and so did my peers and twenty years on we still deal with it .. it has led to all sorts of things, over-perfectionism, mental illness, feelings of inadequacy, failure and on the upside, bred some fantastic and world reknown oncologists, doctors, lecturers and surgeons.. (it seems almost my whole class went into medicine).. :) - i don't know what happened to me.. I think, now in hindsight, my role was to OBSERVE and write about it later, now when i am older.. perhaps this a divine mission of some sort eh?
That said, i still have to conform to what Uni needs and that is a plot so I cooked up the murder based on themes that I have mentioned... STephen and Nikki are totally unconnected in every way..they meet at Capricorn and connect very quickly however, Stephen is actually at this point in his life... feeling his way through his sexual identity.. uncertain of where he stands..
He is attracted to Gavin, even holds his hand under the blankets at the school movie night.. but he also almost kisses Nikki (dramatic tension is high in this episode) but doesn't quite get there. Nikki is confused.. not sure if S is attracted to her or not.. S is scared stiff in reality.. he has a 'fear' of girls... understands the male body much better.. then the Trevor thing happens and when he is touched, he responds physically, he is totally confused by this - the guilt almost kills him.. he loves nikki but emotionally not physically, he hates Trevor but responds physically.. so hmmm...
District Six - Excellent Site
District Six Historical Timeline..
Something I wrote ... on Feminism...and sexual discrimination...
Here is a paper I wrote in August
docs/Is Sexist Discrimination Still Prevalent 05082007.doc
This was written as an assignment for my Creative Writing Degree for Southern Cross University. I find much of this theory permeates through to my writing.
Wednesday 1st August 2007
I only want to go back to South Africa after the first draft is written I have this snapshot of how it was then that I don't want to taint with where the country is now..things have changed so vastly i am in danger of things blurring..
I was born in Zimbabwe and lived in SA from 1972 (age 5) to 1994/5, the year Mandela was elected president. I worked for the Independent Electoral Commission in South Africa aimed to provide 'free' and 'fair' elections. It was an interesting time in South Africa's history. I have this snapshot of SA (which i call My Country) of this period and I am wanting to write about it... i don't know why but just is.. my sisters all told me to 'move on' yesterday when i told them about it but i really feel there is a story here..
My dilemna is that if i put the murder at the beginning of the novel, it becomes a crime who done it. If i write the novel that culminates in a murder plot, one will get more of a feel of 'Ah this is a book about South African school kids in the eighties under the auspices of apartheid.. i don't know which will be more powerful..
Monday 30th July 2007
Skyped the book idea with my sisters tonight. Suzi leaned over and whispered into Kitty's ear "Depressing" I tried to explain what it was about but Suzi seemed to think that I hadn't 'moved on' and why was I continually living in the past. I told her the past is the past, which is now specifically why i can write about it. i am fascinated by the events that left to South Africa's end to apartheid. For instance last night i found out that PW Botha died at the ripe old age of 90. I had always thought of him as a narrow-mined rockspider who wasn't doing the country any good. I now realise in hindsight that he started the ball rolling for the end of the apartheid era. Superceded by FW De Klerk whom i remember as a breath of fresh air and with his new appointment to office came fresh hope that now perhaps we would be able to move forward with our lives.
Suzi asked me why i am choosing to look back and not forward. I said I was fascinated by the concept of racism. I really want to understand it and I want to expore it and I felt a little frustrated in trying to explain it to her because she seemed so closed to the idea. I suddenly realised the toll it had taken on her too. She was 'over it in one sense of the word and basically she redefined herself as a mum living in Bournmouth, budding author and stay-at-home business woman not 'Sannie' from the bush.
I appreciate her standpoint however, i still feel that although the novel might embrace concepts that are dark and unpalatable, they do nevertheless interest me and to a wider audience there will be a following. The story depicts a period in time that the rest of the world really didn't know much about from a white perspective. I think so much has been written addressing the white perspective and the black perspective, but very few took into account what the children of the parents were thinking at the time. We were scared, had no control and couldn't reconcile the difference between what we felt and what we saw. MOst times we were just told to believe that the blacks were bad, yet for some of us, we had black friends and colleagues whom we didn't categorise in the same way, so it became difficult to know where to locate ourselves in the world with regard to this. It was just the way it is..
Sunday 29th July 2007
Just writing now without any specific destination for what comes out:
There is still so much research to do.. not just in literary theory but also theory on the politics and history of that small window in South Africa’s life. I have been dreaming a lot lately. I have almost released repressed memories.. it seems like there is much that is still there that I have not looked at for years. Now is the time. I feel it is the right time to turn around and look back without going back just yet. I feel as though this is the time for me to get the basic info onto the page without ruining the memories. Then when I am confident I have captured the essence of what I want to say, then perhaps it will be time to go back to South Africa and see where it is at now. Things have changed so much I am afraid I am going to forget the essence of the memories that have captured that era for me. I don’t want to taint, pollute or dilute the memories I have in any way but to snapshot them and the work on the reconciliation process after they have been committed to paper.
Registered www.blondiespalace.info today for the purposes of posting my blog up there for the other students to read or anyone who might be interested in how this book is going for that matter.
I feel a little scared. Why do I want to retrace the steps of a life past? What does this hold for me? Am I going to do the topic justice? Am I qualified enough to write my story now? Or is it going to be ruined by bad writing. Is writing it for uni a mistake? I don’t know the answer to all these things but these are the questions in my headspace right now..
Sunday, 29th July 2007
I have a story that has 'haunted' me..
I am going to write about a murder of the school photographer in the grounds of an elite South African boarding school for whites in the early 1980's. All this written against a backdrop and sub-plot of black schools were being burnt down and the rest of the country was in turmoil over the impending political 'future' (if you were black) or 'disaster' (if you were white). I aim to write about a time when attitudes in South Africa towards white/black; and 'normal'/homosexual were very different to what they are today. My story aims to examine closely: issues of identity, gender and race politics..
Added to the mix I will writing about a time when technology was not what it is today - ie no mobiles, playstations, tV, microwave ovens, computers as we know them now, or mp3 players etc...
I feel strongly that this book will be a 'cathartic' process for me and it is something that has 'haunted' me since i realised that racism is 'wrong' (about when I turned 21 - i am 40 now..)
I feel the need to reconcile my past with my present and investigate why racism is what it is and what purpose it served and still serves in society..
It is a subject that fascinates and chills my soul and keeps me constantly searching for answers. This course has in part contributed to my understanding of racism in that identity has formed such a large part of the course material and i realised that there is actually a 'name' for it and racism/discrimination of any sort is a by-product of identity and that i am not imagining it.
If you want to know more, watch this space.. as you witness my journey into reconciling with my past.. i am keeping a diary and a blog on the production of this book as i feel it will provide insights that ordinarily i might miss along the way from being so focussed on just writing the book.
15th July 2007
After researching South African history on the web – I came across a summary of the political events for South African from 1980 to 1984. I realised that there are on average, at least 4 bombings a month.
It explained some of the fascination I have with the whole concept of national security and bombings. This was a hell of a time in South Africa. I remember being in close proximity to the Garfunkels bombing in South Africa. Scary stuff.
1st July 2007
I am really excited about this book.. I sat down and arranged everything in PowerPoint slides and worked out that I actually have two different stories for two different audiences.. 1) Standard Six – Audience: Adult 20+ - involves all types of politics – identity, race and gender and the other 2) Capricornia – Audience: Children 10+ is just a bunch of fun stories about what fun kids got up to at boarding school before technology existed without making any ‘political’ statements of any sort… I will develop Standard Six for this semester as I feel the kiddies stories I really just want to be able to play with the stories and not ground them too much in ‘theory’.. as I fear I may lose the ‘fun’ aspect…
The semester has begun. I am fearful that I will be seduced into writing what UNI wants and not what I want.. This is of concern to me at this stage.. Just doing some version control etc… at this point to sort out what belongs in Capricornia and what belongs in Standard Six.
Thanks,
Nikki Ward | IT Documentation and Training Analyst
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